Corporate Fish!


I HAVEN’T WORN A TIE IN THE PAST EIGHT YEARS. Formal outfit of choice: A dress shirt with sweatpants, a fashion faux pas I commit constantly. Ties are a useless bit of colored cloth tied in a very complicated way, which make it harder to get air into your lungs and difficult to turn your neck. Also they are a symbol of slavery. But that’s a conversation for another think piece.

That’s ME in a nutshell: constantly straddling the line between daring and trashy. And my current environment won’t allow me this balancing act for long. I am now an adult and am expected to do adult things; like wearing loose pants and paying my taxes. I must admit when I recently got an 8to5 I struggled with blending my own personal style with the atypical ‘working class gent’ look. Alas, a month in and I thought it would be fun to give myself a task and walk down the valley of “Adult wear” (sounds saucier than it was). Here’s a brief account on five outfits I’ve sported, as well as where you might see me in them.

Monday Blues: We all know Mondays suck but why not make the most of it. I instantly fell in love with the idea of dressing like a banker but throwing a sporty twist to it. Pairing a sporty jacket over a dapper suit is a sure-fire way to get that “Lounge key MasterCard holder who still gets down to Veezo” look. Finish the look off with a clean pair of sneakers, and you’ve got just the right mix of cool conservatism and street casual.

Cheese Boy swag: My entire family, kept calling me “cool kid” in this get-up. I think it was the shoes, though, rather than anything else. I love ironically looking like a cheese boy. This look was loosely inspired by, Sebastian from Cruel Intentions. A bright statement sweater paired with some pleated trousers and a pair of clunky Doc Martens adds a modest street quirk and dials down the trust fund baby douchiness. It looks put together but, but at the same time doesn’t try too hard to be cool.

Sports Wear X Corp- wear: Alright, so you might need to save this look for the post-work happy hour, but if you want to embrace your inner sporty style savant, this is a look to draw inspiration from whenever you want to bring the track athlete in you out during working hours. Not sure how open your boss is to having you show up to work looking like Isaac Makwala meets GQ but for all you corporate sport lovers out there, DO YOU B!

Conference Room Don: This looked totally ridiculous in my head, but when I put it on, it felt good. It definitely makes a statement. If you’ve got a conference meeting scheduled or are gearing up to propose some #fuego business plans to your colleagues, show off your fleek factor by wearing two dress shirts, pants with a lace instead of you’re a belt to make the usual shirt-tie-pants rotation not seem so predictable.

Middle class Baller: Hello, my name is Tanlume, and I work as a deliveryman. I only pretend to be a writer- all I do is deliver packages. . This #normcore look is appropriate for both a lunch date with your financial advisor and some after work networking cocktails. A graphic coat really goes a long way in turning what would be a dad look into something less basic.



Creative Direction, Styling & Words: Tanlume

Artwork & Collage: Trotse Tert

Original Photography: Giancarlo Calaméo LaGuerta

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